Review: The Crumple Zone (Waterloo East Theatre)

 Review by Izzy Tierney

⭐️⭐️⭐️

When vehicles crash into something, they are structurally designed to protect passengers as much as possible by absorbing the main impact of the collision. This safety feature is called a crumple zone, which, if you haven't already guessed, is the inspiration for the title of Buddy Thomas’ off-Broadway hit The Crumple Zone. Pairing this rather serious title with the synopsis of a messy love triangle and the warning of “comedy male nudity” certainly makes for an intriguing premise, and that's before you see the poster of a naked man straddling a Christmas tree wearing a Santa hat, because... why not? It looks camp, it sounds fun and it definitely seems interesting. I'm happy to say it is very much all of those things.

First shown in 2000, The Crumple Zone takes place in a Staten Island apartment shared by aspiring actors Terry and Alex, and Sam, Alex's girlfriend of four years. Terry is lonely, Sam is away on a lengthy tour, and Alex is cheating on Sam with a guy he met a few months ago, Buck. Terry is trying to stop the affair, partly because Sam is his friend but also because he has a crush on Buck, however Buck repeatedly rejects Terry as he's in love with Alex, so Terry brings Roger home, a random stranger he meets on the Staten Island Ferry, who also ends up fancying Buck, even though he has a wife and came home with Terry. To sum up: everyone loves Buck, except for Sam of course (I imagine Roger's wife probably wouldn't be a fan either), who arrives home early on Christmas Eve to discover her boyfriend has been sleeping with another man, in their shared bed, nonetheless. It's less of a love triangle and more of a queer mess to be honest, but who doesn't want to see some complicated, morally questionable, queer festive mayhem?

The writing is incredibly fast paced; the dialogue being thrown back and forth from one character to the next in what feels like a verbal tennis match, climaxing in a particularly good punchline or gut punching comment. It works well at times, but does tend to end up feeling overwhelming with little time for anyone, the cast included, to really breathe and process what's just been said. Described as a tragicomedy, it certainly hits the comedy nail on the head, but struggles to achieve the same level of precision with the tragic and serious elements. Whilst the writing is funny, the characters need more depth for their emotional turmoil to truly affect the audience.

The show could do with a longer running time, but would benefit more from trimming the unnecessary speeches and monologues that the characters (mainly Terry) go on that accomplish little more than an impressive amount of bitchy neuroticism. Terry, Alex and Buck continuously argue and tease and fire shots at each other in routines that are for sure entertaining, but ultimately hinder the empathy and compassion the audience want to feel for them, rendering the heartbreaking moments of loss and betrayal somewhat hollow. Nevertheless, it's a fun watch, especially if you're someone who's tired of Christmas stories all having perfect happy endings, and the cast do a good job of engrossing you in their chaotic lives.

James Grimm brings copious amounts of sass as the unhinged diva, Terry, without ever letting the ever present undertones of sadness and loneliness slip away. Despite the weak spots in the script, Jonny Davidson (Alex) gives a good performance as a man conflicted by love and guilt with a sense his life is going nowhere, and James Mackay (Buck) plays the pining, lovesick role of the side piece with an ever hopeful look that mostly hides the cruel, bitter resentment he has for Sam. Her arrival at the end of act one is a welcome addition for act two as Sinead Donnelly's sweet, gentle portrayal is a necessary contrast to the overdramatic loudness of the other three characters. Originally written as a man, Sam being changed to a woman in recent years brings a much needed balance to the stage, ending with a tender moment between her and Terry on Christmas Day.

Nicholas Gauci is confident and funny as “family man” (aka adulterer) Roger, but is sadly underused. Helen Bang's direction reflects the shambolic nature of the show with carefully constructed sequences that never feel stunted in the small, unchanging setting. Designed by Richard Lambert, the living room feels warm and cosy, with a Christmas tree and framed photo of the Statue of Liberty perfectly setting the scene for a festive New York story.

While the show comes across as a bit more cynical than I think it aims to, it still has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and heartfelt scenes, and overall makes for a fun, festive night out full of cheap vodka and messy gays. And for those of you who still need a bit more convincing - there's a four year old girl bullying Santa Claus, funeral flowers for a perfectly alive person, and of course the aforementioned “comedy male nudity”... so grab a ticket, have yourself a merry little Christmas, and make the Yuletide gay.

The Crunple Zone plays at Waterloo Wast Theatre until December 22nd

For tickets and information visit https://www.waterlooeast.co.uk/the-crumple-zone

Photos by Peter Davies