Review: I Wish You Well: The Gwyneth Paltrow Ski-Trial Musical (Criterion Theatre)

Review by Daz Gale

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Shows about the Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial are like buses - You wait your whole life for one and then two come crashing into you at once. With Awkward Productions brilliantly bonkers Gwyneth Goes Skiing still gooping and gagging audiences up and down the country, the bar has been set high. Following a well-received season at this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe, I Wish You Well:  The Gwyneth Paltrow Ski-Trial Musical heads to the West End for a short run at the Criterion Theatre, but would it be able to hold a candle (let’s just not talk about what it smells like) to that other show and be worth losing half a day of skiing for?

It was the trial that captured the attention of the world… for how absolutely mad it was. Award-winning actress and Marvel star (even if she doesn’t remember) Gwyneth Paltrow on trial for allegedly colliding into retired optometrist Terry Sanderson on a ski slope. The events kept getting crazier until Gwyneth ultimately won and whispered the immortal words “I wish you well”. Who could make a musical out of something so ridiculous? This show, titled after that iconic quote, proudly has the answer – “Gay men”. And so, I Wish You Well attempts to take one of the most ridiculous events in pop culture in recent years and up the ante to make it a camp and silly frenzy, and boy do they do just that!

Immediately moving from their Edinburgh run to a West End house, I Wish You Well has transferred the same 60 minute show in this bite sized laugh-a-minute romp. Roger Dipper’s book is exactly what you expect, taking the loosest of plots covering the bases of the trial and then running off in all directions with the most absurd humour there is. Exaggerated characteristics, stupidly on-the-nose changed surnames “Fangirling” and “Sightworsens” and a staging so camp, it threatens to burst into glitter at any given moment, this it without a doubt the maddest and campest show the West End has seen for a very long time. It may not make much sense and be proud in its stupidity but I was loving every minute of it.

What makes I Wish You Well work so well is that the humour is genuinely funny, It may be low-hanging fruit at times but that doesn’t make it any less funny. Sight gags, hilarious one-liners and no shortage of pop culture references had me howling throughout, with new updates since its Fringe run bringing it up to date with the latest events in the world of celebrity. Willy’s Chocolate Spectacular, Justin Timberlake’s now iconic latest quote and even “very demure, very mindful” all get a look in alongside classic lines from RuPaul’s Drag Race and a Cheryl Cole quote you won’t be ready for. Yes, it didn’t always make sense and was the equivalent of Cinderella’s stepsister squeezing in to a shoe (or ski boot) that didn’t fit her, but I struggled to care as it was always so pleasingly funny. Think a pantomime written by a group of gay men after a few too many drinks and you’ll get the idea.

Crucially for a musical, I Wish You Well features a smattering of fantastic pop bangers. While some parody other musical styles such as the Chicago inspired number, there are moments of brilliance in Rick Pearson’s music and lyrics (with additional lyrics from book writer Roger Dipper). ‘Gwynnocent’ is the camp classic you would expect while early number ‘Do You Know Taylor?’ is a real earworm of a tune, full of hilarious lyrics and my personal favourite of the evening. The title track ‘I Wish You Well’ is an 11 o clock number Andrew Lloyd Webber would kill to have written in a show he could shove the word “Bad” in front of. Where the show gladly makes fun of certain tropes in theatre, the team clearly know how to craft a decent song and this song encapsulates that perfectly.

Shiv Rabheru’s direction takes the silliness of the writing and finds the best way to bring it to life in hilarious fashion, with every outfit change and characteristics adding to the funny factor. This is a show where the collision of all production elements flawlessly adds to the impact, with David Shields loud and proud design and Alex Lewer’s lighting two shining examples of this. What (ski) lifts I Wish You Well to the next level is inspired choreography from the legend that is Arlene Phillips. Bringing a sense of style and quality to the mix, it takes what may have been slightly hap-hazard staging in places and puts a sheen on top of it. This is at its best with ‘Courtroom Catwalk’ where a scene-stealing Idriss Kargbo shows what he has got and is clearly having the time of his life in doing so.

Speaking of that cast, I Wish You Well boasts not one, not seven, but four phenomenal performances from its talented cast. The aforementioned Idriss Kargbo shines as Judge Jude, turning the Criterion stage into the main stage on Drag Race and showcasing his God given talents. Marc Antolin may play the villain of the piece as Terry but his hilarious portrayal is impossible not to love, with his interpretation as the slow, doddering supposed victim made all the better thanks to surprise reveals.

The X Factor star Diana Vickers is an absolute revelation as Gwyneth Paltrow with an over-the-top characterisation that demanded all eyes on her at all times. Her constant interactions with the audience whenever she crossed the stage never failed to amuse and her joy in tapping in to the eccentricities of Gwyneth and the trial itself was infectious to witness. The most spectacular aspect of her performance, however, is her incredible singing voice. Full disclosure – I have been to a Diana Vickers concert in the past and even I didn’t know she could sing like THAT. Completely outstanding, I felt like she had crashed into me after experiencing her stunning vocals. A truly fantastic performance that demands to be seen more than once.

While this might be all about Gwyneth, there is one person that pulls focus and that is Tori Allen-Martin as Kristin. With her inflictions on certain words, growing exaggerations and her fangirling of Gwyneth, she delivered the funniest and most exciting performance of the four – no tall order given how great they all were. With phenomenal vocals and an incredible charisma, Allen-Martin delivered a riveting performance which signposts her as an exciting performer to watch in the future.

I was hesitant when I Wish You Well was first teased, especially as it had followed in the footsteps of the first Gwyneth show to be announced. However, I am happy to admit that this stands on its own two feet (or should that be skis) to create a ridiculously over-the-top, eccentric and surreal hour of theatre that I couldn’t help but fall in love with the madness of. While the humour might be very much of the present and may not be as relevant or funny in a year’s time, as a product of 2024, it was a complete marvel (yes Gwyneth, you WERE in those movies) to watch and never went downhill throughout its speedy hour.

I Wish You Well: The Gwyneth Paltrow Ski-Trial Musical plays at Criterion Theatre until 12th October.

Tickets available here

Photos by Mark Senior